i yell (it's a bad habit i acquired from my dad).
even when i don't want to yell, i do.
i don't know how to diffuse my anger.
lorelei threw a fit, she kept hitting me, throwing things at me.
i kept putting her in time out, but she'd get up saying "im sorry" and then immediately hit me.
i put her on the floor and i laid down because i was tired of the incessant screaming, hitting and crying.
i'm tired. she started hitting her head to my head out of anger. i covered myself with a blanket and she tried prying it off of me. my arm was exposed so she bit me.
that's when crap hit the fan.
i immediately pulled her off of me. tears streaming down my face and screamed "why did you do that?!, you don't bite!!!" and i complained to her as i sobbed on the floor.
my loud sobbing made her quiet, but still crying.
she tried to put herself on me as if she wanted to sleep, but i didn't want her on me, so i moved and went to the recliner, where i sobbed more, thinking that i couldn't do this at least not alone.
she crawled onto me, and calmed down, but i'm still in the chair crying, thinking that i'm a horrible mom, i scream too much, i get angry too quickly, maybe i have post partum depression 2 years after having a baby, wondering if lorelei hates me.
now i have a headache. and i have to go visiting teaching and i feel like i'm not nearly spiritual enough to be teaching a lesson.
how do you do it?
how do you stay at home moms keep from going crazy, mental, mad?
normally i'd be okay because i have austin, but he's been gone, and it's just been me.
and lorelei has been sick, extra fussy/needy..
what am i going to do when he goes active?
4 comments:
How do we keep from going crazy, mental, mad?? We don't!! :) I'm pretty sure EVERY mom feels the same way you do. I know I do...often. Being pregnant probably doesn't help that either. Nor does being husbandless. I'm sorry! :( It's hard...but hang in there and remember that there are MANY moms (if not all) that feel the same way you do at one point or another.
Please post the answer for this question as soon as you figure it out. I would LOVE to know! :) All I know is that it's worth it, keep tellin yourself that! A good cry every now and then does me wonders, though.
I yell sometimes, too. It's hard to repeatedly ask nicely to "please stop" or "please don't do that". I have come to accept that a change in decibels is the only way to get their attention. The way I keep from going crazy is to go outside (which is now possible- most of the time) or during naptime I do something fun for me. Unfortunately that makes naptime too short! But you sounded fine when we went VT- I couldn't tell you had a hard day. I'm sorry!!!
i just stumbled across your blog and while i have no experience being a mother, i know my friends have a similar complaint many a times. "where's the off button" is our favorite line! hang in there!
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