that's how i've been feeling lately
and tonight especially
here it is 11:36 p.m., sitting with baby, hoping that this sleep she's fallen into will finally stick.
wanting to cry because that's all she's done today, and i think it's cause she's going through spurt, or i'm not producing enough milk (meaning she's hungry 24/7) ... my poor chest hurts from being used all day.
i wish that i could get more than 4 or 5 hours of sleep, and not have to take a nap during the day. wish i could get more stuff done around the house.
i think i've got the baby blues... but not ppd(post pardom depression) because i feel like i can't satisfy my own child. she's a heck of alot fussier than normal, and it's bringing me down. Austin feels helpless because he can't satisfy her either....
i'm tired, but i feel that it's pointless to sleep because i garuantee she'll be up in an hour. i just want to crash on the couch.
wish i lived in the country, so that i could step out on the porch and scream my head off, just to relieve some stress.
motherhood is stinking hard, and it's making me feel like i'm drowning... hopefully i can get my head above water and start swimming
2 comments:
I love you dawn! Even if you don't think so, I know you're rocking motherhood. I bet it is rough and scary right now, but when you look back on these words with wiser eyes you'll laugh (shudder?) and remember these times. Sending prayers your way woman!
It DOES get better. I know everyone says that, and it actually annoys me when people say that to me, so maybe just ignore that. I think I had the baby blues for about a month (like you said, not PDD, just the blues). I would cry a lot and just wished I could go back to my life before I was pregnant. Oh, and your chest stops hurting after a while too. I thought my chest was going to fall off it was so sore. I'm sorry you are having trouble, I hope she gets better at sleeping for you!
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